360 degrees back to base

I had an enlightening moment yesterday. I attended a leadership development workshop designed to make me a better leader... which in itself is great... but my eureka moment was more personal.

We had an exercise to draw a picture of ourselves in the form of a pyramid which had to use symbols to describe 3 aspects. The first being the individual - but had to describe what makes me, the path I have led since I was 18, depict those that had inspired me and those symbols which represent success for me. Whilst there were other parts we had to describe (ie. our role at work, and the emergent reality of the dynamics between role vs the individual), what struck me was how I had transformed over the last 14 years, and yet my goals have not changed.

When I left school I had an idealised view of how my life would pan out. University, secure job, the dream husband, marriage and of course a few kids before 30. By no means unique to me. And as uniquely as everyone else (!) life had other plans for me.

I grew up a virtually only child. My brothers are much older than I am, and were in university by the time I had my first day at school. My father passed away in that same year (I was 6 at the time). On the face of it, I would hold this responsible for making me the independent woman I am today, although now that I'm a little wiser, I probably would have been just as independent had I had the traditional nuclear cocoon.

I collected a few certificates at university and found myself in a serious job which effectively became my life for the next 10 years. The job was rewarding, the home life boring (read this as: I was single) and the ladder exhilerating! 3 burnouts later, I realised that although my "happy ever after" had not arrived, I needed to change some priorities.

In my diagram I drew the following symbols which showed significant events:
The earth with an aeroplane. Yip, I put myself on a plane and went travelling.
The triangle of principle: body, mind and soul
A paintbrush - I started drawing and painting again, years after highschool

I would say that these were turning points in me finding a new balance. And at the time, I was in "google" mode, always searching for answers, a new way of living, new priorities and a new style of clothing. And now 10 years of that, what has spat out is me with exactly the same goal (ie. definition of success) of a family, a home and a partner for life. And yet, I am a completely different person!

It makes me wonder whether had I settled down and had kids so many years ago, whether I would be as fulfilled as I am now having had a wide range of experiences, a successful career (which is really just a means to an end (it pays for the dream house)) and learned patience from having to just wait for the right moment to meet someone.

I like the fact that my ideals have not changed, although I have focused the majority of the past years to working hard. I like that, actually, my centre is solid and I can now appreciate how my experience has made that core all the more sincere and resolute.